On Being a Trans Family

non-binary parent and child

Being a trans parent of a trans child is beautiful and liberating. But, when others try to dim our light, there’s a collective pain that is soul-crushing. There is a war happening overseas and a fight for the lives of trans kids in this country.

There’s nothing abusive about encouraging trans children to thrive. Taking care of each other and building systems of support in our community is essential–whether we’re providing things like healthcare and hormones or housing and food.

Let trans people know that you are with them by taking action steps. If you’re able to, consider donating to trans-led organizations, mutual aid networks, and resource centers across the country that provide direct support to trans youth.

@TransTexas and @EqualityTexas are doing incredible work, alongside @transjusticefp, which has a map of trans-led organizations in the U.S. At @youthphoria_org, we provide affirming photo sessions at no cost to trans youth in the Greater Philadelphia area.

Action steps for the wedding community

To the wedding photographers who are always asking how to add LGBTQIA+ representation to your portfolio: Consider caring less about the optics of embedding allyship badges on your website and more about genuinely helping us as trans people. Like all things, this will not be done perfectly, and that’s okay.

Share your brand values openly, as well as how you put them into action. Donate a percentage of your income to trans-led organizations. Advocate for trans rights on social media. Don’t support posting masculine-presenting folks in dresses as “jokes.” Don’t center yourself in your apologies when you misgender us (assuming there is an apology). Avoid gendered language. Stop prematurely signaling that you’re safe when you’re assuming what safety looks like and being harmful in the process. Push back against stereotypical cishet norms in the industry. Don’t expect us to meet you with “love and light” when we’re advocating for ourselves. Don’t assume someone’s pronouns because of how you perceive them. And don’t insinuate our feelings aren’t valid because you have a queer friend whose opinion differs.

To my fellow trans folks, please know you are loved.

Want some additional ways to support trans kids? Check out my TikTok with suggestions here.

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