Notes from a neurodivergent wedding photographer

When I first stumbled upon Autism self-assessments online, I found myself staring at the blinking cursor when asked about special interests. I wasn’t fascinated with trains and I didn’t memorize baseball statistics like the Autistic tropes I saw in media representation.

During my formal diagnosis, my evaluator helped me understand the ways special interests showed up for me throughout my life. Oftentimes with my special interests, I will rewatch something repeatedly until suddenly another special interest takes over. In middle school, I played Adam Sandler’s album They’re All Gonna Laugh at You! on repeat and pried my tired eyes open during sleepovers when we rewound The Wedding Singer on a loop.

It’s wild to spend so much time with a special interest, only to have it drift away and never think of it again. Until you do.

The Deacon Philadelphia wedding

During Allison and Dave’s first dance, the first few notes of Grow Old with You from The Wedding Singer hit. I felt that warm rush of nostalgia. 

If I had to pick two words to describe Allison and Dave, I’d say comfort and familiarity. It was such an honor to revisit them after documenting their surprise proposal. There were so many moments that highlighted the loving humans they are. From their sweet first look with their dog Mimi (which was a surprise to Dave). To them running into neighbors and students throughout their neighborhood.

Allison is a speech-language pathologist, so when I saw her signing to friends on the dance floor, it made me further appreciate all the ways ASL can be used. We even took some photos with a playground communication board, which made me especially happy.

I spent so much of my adolescence prescribing comedy as a form of coping–largely because I felt lonely and broken and didn’t realize my brain was just different. Something that continues to stun me as I enter my 40s is that I never feel lonely anymore. A lot of that is self-acceptance, but it’s also owed in part to the empathetic humans I surround myself with in my personal and professional life.

Allison and Dave–and their family and friends–make it impossible to feel lonely when you’re around them. I can’t thank them enough for making me feel so at home as a vendor.