I wanted to share some favorites from Sunanda and Michael’s self-uniting wedding at a charming Airbnb in Lancaster County. Upon arrival, I befriended a vocal goat before introducing myself to their families.
Self-uniting wedding in Pennsylvania
The partners–who met at college seven years ago–envisioned having a self-uniting ceremony with family blessings. Followed by a dinner where their seven guests would join them in making momo dumplings together.
When I asked what the couple loves doing together, they shared how they enjoy walking in nature and watching cooking shows. Their wedding celebration blended their shared interests beautifully.
Here in Pennsylvania, we are lucky enough to be one of the nine states in the U.S. that supports self-uniting marriages. Or weddings in which the marriers do not need a third-party officiant. This method of getting married can also be referred to as a “Quaker marriage” or “Quaker wedding.” Other states that allow self-uniting weddings include: California, Colorado, The District of Columbia, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, and Wisconsin.
Getting a self-uniting marriage license in Philadelphia
Pennsylvania has recognized self-uniting marriages for centuries due to its Quaker origins and has offered self-uniting licenses for decades. The only requirements is that these marriages have the signatures of two witnesses in place of an officiant. Though another person may still preside over the ceremony in an unofficial capacity. Oftentimes marriers choose to have a friend or family member fill this role. I’ve been lucky enough to act as a witness and offer my signature in the past, which is always such an honor. Afterwards, marriers need to return the license with signatures from the couple and two witnesses to the Marriage License Department within 10 days.
If you’re interested in seeking out a self-uniting marriage license, I recommend researching information in your local county clerk’s website and calling if possible. For Autistic folks like me, phone calls can often be tough for us. Should you need additional support around making calls, see if a friend is willing to gather some additional information. Googling “self uniting marriage, [state]” should be able to offer some information.
In Pennsylvania, you need to specifically apply for the self-uniting marriage license. There is a different license for a marriage with an officiant present. Be sure you have two witnesses and don’t hesitate to ask your photographer! If you’re getting a marriage license in Philadelphia, both applicants must appear in person at the Register of Wills and provide the required documents and identification. Marriers can use their marriage license in any county in Pennsylvania. Self-uniting license in Philadelphia cost $100. For marriage licenses, everyone is considered an “applicant.” Gender identity does not factor into the application process and is not documented.
Lancaster microwedding
A lot of wedding photographers strictly focus on full-day wedding coverage, and while that’s something I also provide, I’m always energized by photographing weddings with a few hours of coverage or less.
In my questionnaire, I asked Sunanda and Michael what led them to make the decision to work together. In addition to looking for a queer photographer who shared the same values and had experience photographing interracial marriers, the couple expressed that they found my photography style bright and uplifting, with a lively coloration. Another note was that they thought folks looked genuinely happy and not forced to put on a serious face or fake smile. This meant a lot to hear as someone who centers consent and letting clients lead the way.
Thanks to Sunanda and Michael for trusting me to document their wedding. And for the delicious plate of momo for the ride home.
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